Three Things I Learned From My Conversation With A Certified Nutrition Consultant And How It Relates To Your Sober Journey

I was thrilled to sit down with Lila Volkas, Certified Nutrition Consultant, workshop facilitator, and non-alcoholic beverage expert, on Episode 51 of my podcast, Feel Good Alcohol-Free. Below are three major takeaways from our conversation and how they relate to your sober journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA0ehqKRvXE

1. Our Emotional Well-Being Is A Part Of It.

Going into this conversation with Lila, I wasn't entirely sure what holistic nutrition actually included. I assumed it was going to be all about the foods we eat and how we move our bodies. I had heard the term "holistic nutrition" used before plenty of times, but Lila gave such a concise, illustrative definition.

"Holistic nutrition considers health as a multifaceted interworking system. It's not just about what you're eating - the macronutrients, the calories - it's about connecting lifestyle, emotions, trauma, etc., considering that they all have an impact on your overall health, and how food plays into that holistic view. Everything is connected."

Honestly, I was not aware that emotional health could be considered a part of nutrition. I mostly thought of nutrition strictly in terms of what we put in our bodies. But as soon as she said that, something clicked. Of course it is such a big part of it, and of course it makes sense to take our emotions into consideration when we talk about our nutrition. I immediately thought about how when I am feeling upset, or stressed, I have been known to head directly to the candy drawer as a response to cope with those emotions.

It was a mind-opener for me to consider this sort of response through a holistic nutrition perspective, because it is so closely tied to the work we do in sobriety. Nowadays my response may be a piece of chocolate, but before getting sober, that emotional response would have led me to pouring the glass of wine. When we talk about our alcohol-free journeys, I tell the women who I work with, that getting rid of the alcohol is about 10% of the work, the other 90% is emotional sobriety. When we can sit with our feelings and understand our emotions through tools we learn, we can make healthy choices that are in support of our goals.

2.  It Takes Balance and Nuance. There's never a one-size-fits-all for everybody.

It feels like there are always so many rules around nutrition - especially when we look at diet trends in mainstream culture. Good and bad. Yes and no. Do and don't. Always and never. When I asked Lila about her approach to her work, she shared that when she started on her own nutrition and wellness path, she was navigating health issues and wanted to feel better. So, at first this led her approach to be more intense and rigid because that's what she needed. But over time her approach has evolved into balance and nuance. As someone has been doing a lot of work on my own mindset shifts around how I think about food in terms of "good" or "bad", the idea of balance and nuance was deeply refreshing.

"I really like to bring the concept of balance and nuance to the wellness world, nutrition and to food - there's never a one size fits all for everybody. I like to humanize myself to folks and be like, I like candy. I like chocolate cake. You know, I eat those things. I'm not all kale salads and quinoa all the time. What I have found that works for me is really tapping into what works for my body and using that as a compass."

Similarly, there is no one perfect way to get sober. For some, a 12-step program like AA has been life saving. For me, it wasn't the right fit.This is one of the reasons why I created Feel Good AF - to create a space for women like me that have a hard time finding a place where they feel like they belong. Within Feel Good AF, still there is no one standard way of doing things. Yes, I have a methodology that I teach the women who hire me, but there is balance and nuance every step of the way. It is my job to provide you with a foundation, share tools and knowledge with you, and build a unique plan to your unique circumstances that will actually work. And yes, at some points in our journey we need to be strict and rigid - no bars, no mocktails, no parties where there is alcohol. And as we grow and evolve, it may start to make sense to integrate NA alternatives into the routine. And attending events where there will be drinking doesn't feel triggering.

3. It's Okay To Say "No" To The Donut.

I love this one because of how relatable it is - especially if you have ever worked in an office environment. The true takeaway here is the importance of learning how to connect with your body, understand the foods the make you feel good, and then making choices throughout your day that support feeling your best. This was another one of those moments where it clicked. Because protecting how we feel in our bodies is more important that pleasing others. This means I don't have to eat whatever you hand me out of politeness. It's important to note that this is something that takes time and practice to learn what feels best for you.

"It's made it so much easier to make those choices when I know that it's gonna make my body feel better and I'm gonna have more energy and I'm gonna be able to continue the day that I wanna have - rather than feeling the social pressure of trying the cookie or having the donut because someone else really wants me to.

It's about boundaries, isn't it. There is this underlying fear in the early days of sobriety that when you go to a party or out for dinner, someone is going to offer you a drink - and you have to either a. politely accept, or b. politely decline. And for many, that fear of having to set a boundary and keep it, can be really, really hard. But like in the donut scenario, in these moments we have the power to protect our peace. We are doing this work because we know what makes us feel good, and we know what doesn't. You have the power to say no to the donut. And you have the power to say no to the drink. It's like what I tell my clients all the time: your guideline is if it doesn't feel good to say yes, it's a no.

Take One Step Closer To Feeling Good AF

I loved having the chance to learn from Lila and better understand the beautiful synthesis between our two paths. I encourage you to listen to our conversation and explore the resources Lila has to share on her website. If you are ready to ditch alcohol and start Feeling Good AF, don't miss out on this opportunity. Join my 13-week group coaching program for $1,700. In a community of like-minded women, you will learn how to feel so effing good in your life that you won't even think about alcohol.